I usually have the patience of a turtle.....

Actually, if you know me well enough, that statement might make you laugh. Indeed, I have what I refer to as a Zero Tolerance Policy, or ZTP. That's right. I allow for Zero, zip, nada, when it comes to time-wasting. You do NOT waste my time. Or your time. And you do NOT cut me off in traffic. Ok, so nothing will actually happen if you cut me off, but watch out if you're wasting my time. Things might get ug-uh-lee. Why am I bringing up my ZTP this morning, you ask?

I got a pretty good laugh this morning at, wait for it..............the school drop-off. If you've ever seen a status update on Facebook around 8:30am or 3:40pm, you probably think laughter at, near, or around these times is highly improbable. I HATE dropping off the kids, and I REALLY HATE picking them up after school. I am usually irate because someone (usually more than just one person, I might add,) has stopped their vehicle, gotten out and then proceeded to chat with friends and neighbors. All while their vehicle is blocking traffic - not even kidding. While I enjoy socializing (believe me, I don't think that is a waste of time,) I think that right after school when 300 other parents are also trying to pick up their 2.1 children, might not be the right time to be doing it. Anyway, that is the past, and I have started to accept the things that I cannot change (AH.HA.HA.HA.) This is how I found this morning's scenario so entertaining. Several people that I either know, or have seen around a lot, because, hey (and yes, totally stuck in the 80s dad who I see EVERY MORNING with your hair the exact same, in your same bright yellow jacket and your single diamond earring, I am speaking of you) you can't NOT develop some kind of relationship with these people you see every day, when I look like I just got out of bed because.... guess what? I just got out of bed. Anyway, back to the scenario. I turn the corner of my street, only to catch a woman I obviously don't know well, taking a corner at a speed sure to wear exactly 1.2 inches off her tire tread. Now this woman, or so I thought, has always seemed very um, I can't think of the word, but I have never seen this woman raise her voice, have never seen her laugh uncontrollably, or jump up and down with excitement, and I have never, NEVER seen her be late. So imagine my surprise when I look at the clock and realize that she is in fact probably driving her child to school (she almost ALWAYS walks) because the bell is going to ring in exactly two minutes. I guess she isn't as demure as I thought she was. As I approach the school, there is a LOT of traffic. Well, more than the usual "late" crowd anyway - which yes, I am the PRESIDENT of! I recognize another Mom whom I occasionally socialize with and sometimes, if I'm in really top-form - I beat at the games we play (that's right - I saw you this morning - dropping her off late, mwahahaha,) mostly because she tried (ok, she succeeded) to pull a left-hand turn that almost, almost cut someone off. I continued to watch (while still obeying the "rules" of morning drop-off) as more cars flowed in, and yes, this included the 80s guy, who pulled past us and then tried to cross the street, while a white mini-van tried to pass all of us, doing about 90mph, while the "rule-followers" tried to pull back out of line so that we, the rest of the "rule-followers" could pull up and drop our kids off - anyone remember cutting in line as children? Well, guess what? It continues into adulthood. Who knew? So while the blue explorer and the white mini-van duke it out over who is going to give whom the right-of-way, and the 80s dude is trying to not get run over by either one of them, the second Mom I know flips on her blinker and coolly slides into the front spot. Okay, so it didn't look cool, it looked a bit more frantic. I suppose it didn't surprise me to see that Mom number 2 is as equally ruthless and competitive at the drop-off thing as she is when playing board games. Now cue the background noise during this whole 30 second debacle: "Let's drive safely, now. Safe *BRING* driving,*BRING* everyone. Let's drive safely." - courtesy of Mr. Simpson (the gym teacher), who was apparently watching the same thing I was. Now why was I laughing? Because for the first time this year, I was NOT the bad driver. I was NOT going to be the parent who got in an accident or ran someone over. So thank you, Mom numbers 1 & 2, 80s dude, white mini-van and ford explorer for making me not feel so bad about my past driving :)