Don't judge me for hating mayonnaise

If you are looking for humor, this post might not be for you. That was a warning. Stop reading now if you have even the slightest doubt. Curiosity killed the cat.

Was that warning enough?

You're still reading, huh? Welcome to my opinion. (Feel free to stop reading here.)

Why hasn't anyone come up with an emoticon for sarcasm? A really good half-smirk, half-smile, eye roll that no one could possibly misinterpret?? Maybe it could look like this: %9 or this %? How about this @? Maybe this one @5

Don't people realize how important first, last and every-minute-of-your-life impressions are? When you type something into the twitter universe, you've just lost your personality, your voice, your tone, your body language (if in person,) - all those important and often necessary ingredients one needs to bake a cake, oops, I mean, communicate with one another. Especially if you tend to use sarcasm.

Case in point: Tweeter (who blogs for money): "Why do parents let their Kindergartners go to school with shorts and no coat when it is 40 outside?? Kids need to be told how to dress"

Her opinion may cause you to think one of two things:

1. Why, yes, they do.

or

2. Well, aren't you the perfect person who apparently has passed on those same genetic mutations (was that humor??) to their perfect children.

Gee, I bet you can't guess which thought I had......

There is a difference between telling a kid what to do, and a kid doing what he is told. Tell me you haven’t experienced that before. Better yet, why don’t you tell me about your perfect parenting and your perfect children who always do as you say – maybe I could learn something from you.

Another Tweeter's (she also blogs for money) response to the first: "You're assuming the parents have a brain....:)"

I guess you’d better tell me where I can get a brain. (and what person insults parents while smiling? Just sayin’.”

Short story from several weeks ago: My oldest insisted that he wasn’t going to need his jacket – he didn’t want it, he wasn’t going to wear it. In my infinite wisdom %? I decided that he could learn a valuable lesson if I let him go to school without the jacket (read: I was terribly irritated and tired of fighting a six-year old and I wanted him to be cold so that I could say, “Ha! I told you so!” just like the mature parent I aspire to be.) In the end, the only life lesson he learned, and I quote (in case you missed the quotation marks %?): "I hate the cold!" %?

All sarcasm (%?) aside, he never argues with me about taking a jacket anymore – even if he stuffs it into his backpack. Maybe the lesson he learned was when Mom says it’s going to be cold, interpret it as “Better safe than sorry.” In that ideal and perfect world where kids do as you say, the lesson he would’ve learned was “always listen to Mom – she knows everything!” Where’s my parenting manual??

p.s. maybe %? should be an emoticon for a parent without a brain? No?

New Adventures in Blogging....

While I only blog once every few months, I appreciate all of my devoted readers to this particular one ;)

I've always wanted to have a career in fashion. I haven't lost that dream. I have, however, been sidetracked.

Until now.

Join my latest blog - Pretty, Polished, Perfect. Join it whether you plan to come back or not. Find it on facebook, and if you like it, like it. If you love it, like it. If you hate it, like it. If you don't care, like it (I am down on my knees begging for you to like it.......) Tell everyone you know ;)