The Great Debate.....

I try not to "mother" my younger siblings who are still at home. I try not to "advise" my Father on his parenting skills. So I try to stay out of things - and only offer my opinion or advice once and leave it at that. Well, Morgan, lovely young teenager that he is - is pushing it. To the point that I try so hard to not say anything that I finally just blurt it out - sometimes it seems like it comes out of nowhere - we can be talking politics, or not talking about anything at all - and then out pops my opinion!

Why do I bring this up you say? Many people who know me well (and my family, especially my parents) have asked me the same question, "Do you think your choices were ever affected by how strict your parents were?" No. I have thought about it and thought about it and it is a very definite no. I chose what I chose, just as I continue to choose what I choose, and quite possibly the only reason I made it through alive was because they were so strict! Anyway - here is the debate: How much freedom should our children be allowed to have? At what point do we give our two cents, step back (hold our breath) and let them make their own choices (secretly hoping and praying that they will make the decisions we would make for them if we still could?)

The most recent example comes from Morgan, occurring this morning at approximately 11:00am. He had called me earlier and asked me if I could take him to Blockbuster to rent an xbox game. I told him I would and didn't think too much about it. He came over, we got Maxwell's shoes on (Anna was babysitting Blake) when I told Maxwell we would actually be sitting out in the car while Morgan went in. That's when he told me he didn't actually have a Blockbuster card and was hoping to use mine. So we got in the car, knowing that I would have to go in with Morgan. As we were pulling out of the driveway, he said that we could go to Target and just buy the game instead. I was down with that since I thought it meant I could stay in the car (yes, I am that lazy.) That is when he told me that the game is rated M and so he has to have an adult with him to buy it. WHAT? M? as in - if it were a movie it would be rated R? I was not happy about this. I felt like he was making a bad choice, and he was trying to con me into helping him make it! First thing I asked (like I always do) is, "Does Dad know about this?" He said he did, so I couldn't use that as an excuse not to take him. (I will have to add that sometimes my Dad doesn't come through for me on this - I think I know what my Dad will say, so I tell them to ask Dad, and then he tells them exactly what I didn't want him to say!) Anyway, I explained my feelings on several issues with Morgan (hoping that yes, he would hear me and say something like, "You're right Erin, I think I will just stop playing video games completely, and quit making out with my girlfriend, and get a job and start doing my homework and getting better grades.....etc." Nope. True to form, he went right ahead and bought the game anyway. So, the question is, when we give them a choice, hoping they will make what we think is the right one, but they choose what we think is the wrong one, do we just sit back and do nothing, or do we say, "Sorry, we gave you the opportunity to make the right choice, you blew it, I'm driving you home and you're grounded from playing xbox ever again?"